There is no difference in flare amount, but there is a difference in how quickly the ball will lose tilt. Depending on your tilt, you tweak the pin distance to accommodate. If you have low tilt use pins closer to 2.75" to retain tilt longer, and lots of tilt use longer pins to burn it quickly enough.
Balance holes can help change diff ratios and total diff, and that will impact the timing of the transitions. In actuality surface would be a better way to tweak a misplaced pin.
As far as 4-5", there is a difference but that is the general happy zone for most players. 4" will be a little more pop, 5" a bit more roll.